Chapter 23 - Emily Chooses a VisitAt eleven, Emily asked to see Richard.
Marianne’s stomach dropped.
She hid it poorly.
Emily noticed.
“You said I could choose.”
“You can.”
“You look like you hate my choice.”
“I’m scared of it.”
“Same?”
“No.”
Marianne smiled.
“Your aunt—”
She stopped.
Wrong story. No aunt here.
Emily raised an eyebrow.
Marianne laughed awkwardly.
“Your therapist would tell me fear isn’t an instruction.”
“Yes.”
Annoying child.
The visit took place through a supervised prison family program.
One hour maximum.
Emily could leave anytime.
Marianne waited nearby but outside the room.
Richard entered.
Emily later described him as:
“Smaller.”
Not physically.
Emotionally.
He sat.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
No hug.
Richard did not ask.
Good.
Emily started.
“Why did you say Mom didn’t want me?”
Richard closed his eyes.
“Because I needed you to stop trying to call her.”
“Why?”
“Because you knew she would tell you the papers were fake.”
Emily looked at him.
“So you wanted me to think she hated me.”
“Yes.”
“That’s worse than the basement.”
Richard’s face collapsed.
Emily had not expected that reaction.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because you’re right.”
She stared.
Then:
“Did you love me?”
“Yes.”
“Then how could you do it?”
Richard inhaled.
“I thought loving you meant I could decide what was best.”
“But it wasn’t best.”
“No.”
“Did you know?”
“Some of it.”
That answer mattered.
Richard did not pretend ignorance.
“I knew keeping you away from your mom would hurt.”
“I told myself it was temporary.”
“I knew locking you downstairs was wrong.”
“I told myself I only needed time.”
“I knew frightening you was wrong.”
“I was angry because I was losing control.”
Emily stared.
“You knew a lot.”
Richard whispered:
“Yes.”
That hurt more than:
I didn’t know.
But it was honest.
Then Emily asked:
“Do you blame Mom?”
“No.”
“Officer Cole?”
“No.”
“Me?”
Richard’s answer was immediate.
“No.”
“My company failed because of my decisions.”
“My crimes happened because of my decisions.”
“What happened to you happened because of my decisions.”
Emily nodded.
She had waited years to hear that.
Then:
“I’m not coming again soon.”
Richard’s eyes filled.
“Okay.”
“Maybe next year.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t get to ask Mom.”
“I know.”
Emily stood.
Richard stayed seated.
No reaching.
No dramatic goodbye.
She walked out after thirty-four minutes.
Marianne hugged her only after Emily stepped toward her.
“How was it?”
“Hard.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“Not now.”
So Marianne said nothing.
In the car, Emily stared out the window.
Then:
“Dad looked old.”
“He is older.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“Like he knew he couldn’t tell me what to think.”
Marianne understood.
That was what changed.
Not the past.
Not automatically trust.
Richard’s relationship with Emily could only exist now if he surrendered ownership over her interpretation.
May you like
For the first time—
he had.
