Chapter 23 - Emma Read Vanessa’s Letter
Emma was twelve when she asked.
“Do you still have Aunt Vanessa’s letter?”
Claire looked up.
“Yes.”
“I want it.”
“Today?”
“Yes.”
Dr. Marks had said Emma could decide.
Claire retrieved it.
They sat at the kitchen table.
No mansion.
No company office.
Ordinary house.
Baxter’s successor dog, a clumsy rescue named Pepper, snored nearby.
Emma read silently.
Her expression changed when she reached:
I lied when I said you were my daughter.
She paused.
“That made me really mad.”
Claire nodded.
Emma continued.
Then:
I loved you. I do not use that sentence as a defense.
Emma stopped longer.
“She wrote that?”
“Yes.”
“She actually understood.”
“Maybe.”
Emma finished.
Folded the pages.
No tears at first.
Then they came.
Claire moved closer.
Emma shook her head.
“Don’t hug yet.”
Claire stopped.
“Okay.”
After a minute Emma leaned toward her.
Now.
Claire hugged her.
“Do I have to answer?”
“No.”
“Can I?”
“Yes.”
“What would I say?”
“Whatever is true.”
Emma thought.
“I don’t forgive the plane.”
Claire nodded.
“I miss some things.”
“That can be true too.”
“She used to paint my nails.”
“Yes.”
“She was funny.”
“Yes.”
“She scared me.”
“Yes.”
Emma wiped her face.
“I hate that all of those are true.”
Claire understood.
“Me too.”
Emma eventually wrote five lines.
Aunt Vanessa,
I read your letter.
I believe you are sorry.
I am not ready to see you.
I remember good things and bad things.
Please don’t ask me when I’ll be ready.
Emma.
Claire sent it through counsel.
Vanessa responded only:
Understood.
No “I love you.”
No pressure.
No sadness placed back onto the child.
Emma read the reply.
“Good.”
Then she put both letters away.
Weeks later she asked Ethan during a video call:
“Did you ever think Vanessa was my mom?”
“No.”
“Not even for one second?”
Ethan thought.
“When she said it, yes.”
Emma looked surprised.
“Then what?”
“I looked at you.”
“What did I do?”
“You were afraid of her.”
Emma nodded slowly.
“So you believed me.”
“I believed your fear meant something.”
That distinction mattered.
Emma smiled.
“Still loud?”
“Extremely.”
She laughed.
Then:
“I think I want to fly again.”
Ethan’s expression changed.
“You sure?”
“No.”
Emma smiled.
“But I want to want to.”
May you like
Claire heard from across the room.
That was enough.
