Chapter 22 - REID APOLOGIZES TO HIS DAUGHTER
I apologized to Maisie in Dr. Brooks’s office.
Not at home.
I wanted support if I got it wrong.
I started:
“I should have paid more attention.”
Maisie played with a rubber bracelet.
“To Grandma?”
“To you.”
She looked up.
“I didn’t know she was saying those things.”
“I know.”
“But I should have known you didn’t seem comfortable sometimes.”
She shrugged.
“Why didn’t you?”
There it was.
The question I deserved.
“Because Grandma said everything was fine.”
Maisie frowned.
“So?”
Exactly.
I almost smiled.
“Because I trusted her.”
“More than me?”
The question cut.
“No.”
“Then why?”
I thought.
No prepared answer.
“Because she was the adult telling me there was no problem, and you weren’t telling me there was one.”
Maisie looked down.
“Because she said you were tired.”
“I know.”
“So I was supposed to tell you?”
“No.”
I leaned forward.
“That’s what I need you to understand. You were not supposed to manage this correctly. I was.”
Her eyes filled.
“Are you mad at Grandma?”
“Yes.”
“Do you still love her?”
“Yes.”
That answer surprised her.
“Can you do both?”
“Yes.”
She thought.
“Do you love me when you’re mad?”
“Yes.”
“Even if I do something really bad?”
“Yes.”
“Then why can’t Grandma come home?”
Best question.
“Because loving someone does not mean giving them the same access after they hurt you.”
Dr. Brooks looked at me.
Good.
Maisie asked:
“Will she ever?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I decide?”
“Yes. Some of it.”
Not all.
Adults still held safety responsibility.
I continued.
“And I’m sorry I let Grandma make you think telling me problems would make me tired of you.”
Maisie looked at her bracelet.
“She said you already lost Mom.”
I stopped breathing.
“What?”
“She said you couldn’t lose anything else.”
I closed my eyes.
Cecelia had used Hannah’s death.
Not as threat.
As burden.
Your father is fragile.
Protect him.
That explained more than money.
I whispered:
“I am the adult.”
Maisie watched.
“You never have to protect me from the truth because you think I’ll break.”
She nodded.
“Okay.”
“And if you press the button?”
“You come.”
“Yes.”
Then she corrected me.
“You listen first.”
I stared.
She had already improved the promise.
“Yes.”
May you like
“I listen first.”
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