Chapter 12 - THE CHILD WHO THINKS LOVE CAN BE FIREDJasper’s fear surfaced at school.
A class aide announced she was leaving for maternity leave.
Jasper started crying.
Teacher surprised.
“She’ll come back.”
He said:
“People say that.”
Counselor called parents.
Dr. Simone Hart, child psychologist, evaluated.
Not pathology.
Adjustment anxiety.
He associated adult decisions with sudden relational disappearance.
Mabel termination reinforced.
Dr. Hart explained:
“Do not overreact.”
“He needs predictable transitions.”
Valerie felt guilty.
Elliot too.
They included Mabel in one session with consent.
Jasper asked:
“Can Mom fire you from loving me?”
Mabel’s heart broke.
“No.”
“Can Dad?”
“No.”
“Can you stop?”
“I suppose feelings can change in life.”
“But I don’t plan stop loving you.”
He frowned at lack absolute.
Mabel:
“I will tell truth.”
Dr. Hart nodded.
Jasper:
“Will you disappear?”
“I will tell you when plans change.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
Predictability.
Valerie apologized again:
“I made leaving sudden.”
“That was wrong.”
Jasper:
“Can you fire Sofia?”
Valerie:
“I can end employment if needed, but we would explain and transition unless safety issue.”
He absorbed.
Adults can end jobs.
Not erase relationship automatically.
Mabel told:
“Work and love different.”
“I was paid to work.”
“I loved you because I did.”
Jasper:
“So Mom wrong?”
Mabel looked Valerie.
Valerie answered:
“Yes.”
“When I said being paid meant relationship didn’t matter, I was wrong.”
Important.
No triangle.
Jasper’s anxiety eased over months.
The lesson:
Leaving isn’t disappearing.
Employment ending isn’t love revoked.
He started tolerating Mabel traveling.
When Frank and Mabel went Cape Cod weekend, Jasper asked once:
“When back?”
“Tuesday.”
“Okay.”
Progress.
May you like
Valerie watched and learned that attachment did not need elimination to become healthy.
It needed security.
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