Chapter 22 - “I WANTED HER GONE”
The final joint session between Ethan and Victoria happened after six months of separation.
Not reconciliation counseling.
Closure and practical communication.
Therapist present.
Ethan arrived first.
Victoria second.
They had not been alone since incident.
He noticed her dental implants.
She noticed his hands resting open on knees.
No one mentioned.
Therapist began:
“What needs to be said that has not been said accurately?”
Victoria looked at Ethan.
“I wanted Maria gone.”
Direct.
He nodded.
“I know.”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“I want to say why without making it excuse.”
He waited.
“I believed she had too much influence.”
“She did have a lot.”
Victoria looked surprised.
Ethan continued:
“More than was healthy structurally.”
“Yes.”
“But you lied to remove her.”
“Yes.”
Silence.
Victoria cried.
“I kept waiting for you to see it.”
“See what?”
“That I was outside my own family.”
Ethan’s face tightened.
“I didn't know.”
“I told you.”
“Not clearly.”
“I said Maria was a problem.”
“That isn't same as saying you felt displaced.”
“I didn't know how to say that without sounding jealous of a dead woman.”
“You were.”
“Yes.”
There.
“I was jealous of Audrey.”
Ethan looked down.
“I was jealous of Maria.”
Silence.
“I was jealous of Lily sometimes.”
That was the hardest.
“Because she had a part of you I could never have.”
Ethan did not react defensively.
Victoria continued:
“I thought if Maria left, Lily would need me.”
Therapist asked:
“Need or choose?”
Victoria whispered:
“Choose.”
There.
“And Cedar Ridge?”
“I convinced myself distance would reset attachment.”
“Did you believe it was clinically necessary?”
“By the end, yes.”
“Because evidence?”
Victoria closed eyes.
“Because I made evidence fit.”
Powerful.
Ethan looked at her.
“You knew?”
“Not at first.”
She shook her head.
“I kept rewording things because the professionals didn't understand how bad it felt. Then the rewritten version became what I believed.”
Narrative self-deception.
Important.
“We tell ourselves stories too.”
Therapist nodded.
Victoria continued:
“I wanted Lily gone for a while.”
Ethan stiffened.
“Not forever.”
“I know.”
“I wanted Maria gone permanently.”
“I know.”
“I wanted one room in my marriage where Audrey wasn't still standing between us.”
Ethan’s eyes filled.
“I read that.”
“Paige.”
“Yes.”
Victoria wiped tears.
“I am ashamed.”
Ethan said:
“I’m sorry too.”
She looked up.
“For what?”
“For making you run the house alone while calling that trust.”
Victoria stared.
“For not defining what being Lily’s stepmother meant.”
Tears.
“For letting Maria and you fight over authority while I stayed at work.”
“Yes.”
His voice remained steady.
“And for hitting you.”
Victoria went still.
“You already apologized through lawyers.”
“No.”
He looked at her.
“I’m saying it to you.”
She waited.
“I was furious. I chose violence. You did not deserve to be hit.”
Important.
Not “despite what you did.”
No qualifier.
Victoria cried harder.
“Thank you.”
He continued:
“That apology does not change our marriage.”
“I know.”
“I don't trust you with Lily unsupervised.”
“I know.”
“I am filing divorce.”
Victoria closed eyes.
“I know.”
No dramatic shock.
The decision had lived for months.
Therapist asked:
“What do you want to say about Lily?”
Victoria took time.
“I love her.”
Ethan nodded.
“I also hurt her because I wanted her love to look a certain way.”
That was accurate.
“I don't expect forgiveness.”
Good.
“If she ever wants relationship later, I will follow professionals.”
Ethan said:
“Okay.”
No promise.
Then Victoria looked at him.
“Did she ever call me Mom after?”
“No.”
A tiny, pathetic question.
Ethan did not mock.
“No.”
Victoria nodded.
Something ended.
Not only marriage.
The fantasy.
She had tried to force title.
Lost access.
If she ever had future relationship, it would require accepting name Lily chose.
Victoria.
Maybe enough.
Session ended.
Outside, Ethan sat in car ten minutes.
No triumph.
Then called Maria.
Not to tell details.
“Divorce is moving forward.”
Maria said:
“Okay.”
“Would you consider coming back under new agreement?”
Silence.
“Send it.”
Not yes.
Good.
He smiled.
Progress did not arrive as dramatic loyalty.
May you like
It arrived as contract review.
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