Chapter 19 - MILES DOESN’T HAVE TO GUARD THE DOORMarissa disappeared from Foxmere House physically before she disappeared from Miles’s mind.
For two weeks he woke whenever Lila cried.
For three weeks he checked the nursery before school.
For a month he asked Dana who would be home after lunch.
Caroline noticed.
So did Dr. Price.
“You keep checking because checking worked,” Dr. Price told him.
Miles sat on the carpet in her office.
“What does that mean?”
“You checked on Lila when adults weren’t noticing.”
He nodded.
“So your brain learned checking kept her safe.”
“Yeah.”
“Now the danger is gone.”
“I know.”
“Your brain doesn’t.”
Miles frowned.
“My brain is stupid.”
Dr. Price smiled.
“No. Your brain is excellent at learning.”
“Then why doesn’t it learn Marissa is gone?”
“Because fear learns quickly and forgets slowly.”
Miles considered that.
Dr. Price taught him something called a safety transfer.
Instead of Miles checking Lila, an adult would tell him who was responsible.
Before school:
“Dana has Lila.”
Before dinner:
“Dad has Lila.”
Before bed:
“Mom has Lila.”
At first Miles still checked.
Nobody scolded him.
Then one evening Caroline said:
“I have Lila.”
Miles walked halfway upstairs anyway.
He stopped.
Stood on the staircase.
Then came back down.
Caroline pretended not to make it a big deal.
Later she cried privately in the laundry room.
Ethan found her.
“He came back.”
She nodded.
“He trusted me enough to come back.”
Ethan hugged her.
Their own marriage had changed too.
They stopped using busyness as an excuse for absence.
Ethan reduced travel.
Caroline shifted part of her work schedule.
Not because parents must never work.
Because they realized they had outsourced awareness along with childcare.
They had trusted systems.
Schedules.
Staff.
Reputation.
Too much.
Vivian insisted they not swing to the opposite extreme.
“You will not build your entire lives around guilt.”
Caroline frowned.
“How do we not?”
“By becoming attentive instead of anxious.”
Vivian looked toward Miles.
“He does not need parents who panic.”
She turned to Lila.
“He needs parents who notice.”
One evening Miles walked into the nursery and found Ethan changing Lila’s pajamas.
Ethan looked helpless.
“How does this sleeve work?”
Miles laughed.
“You’re doing it wrong.”
“Obviously.”
Miles stepped closer.
Then stopped.
“You’ve got her?”
Ethan looked at him.
“Yes.”
Miles nodded.
“Okay.”
He walked away.
Ethan stared after him.
Lila slapped both hands on the changing table.
“Mi!”
“Your brother is learning to be ten,” Ethan whispered.
May you like
Lila did not understand.
But she smiled.
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