Chapter 18 - THE THING CLARA NEVER TOLD SIMONClara became pregnant once during relationship with Simon.
It ended very early.
A miscarriage at seven weeks.
She never told Conrad, obviously.
She told Simon.
The loss had deepened her fear of future and contributed to refusing marriage.
When couples therapist asked Clara about why she struggled imagining another child, she disclosed.
Conrad froze.
Not jealous exactly.
Grief adjacent to jealousy.
“You were pregnant with his child?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Two years ago.”
“What happened?”
“I lost pregnancy.”
Conrad’s anger dissolved.
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
“Did Rose know?”
“No.”
“Did Simon?”
“Yes.”
Conrad nodded.
Later he admitted to therapist:
“Part of me hates he got to stand beside her during something I would have wanted to.”
Clara said:
“It wasn’t yours.”
“I know.”
“That’s why feeling irrational.”
Therapist:
“Feelings aren’t claims.”
Good.
Clara added:
“And part of me hates Vivienne got Conrad whole years when I was hiding.”
Conrad:
“You left.”
“I know.”
Therapist smiled:
“Progress looks unpleasant.”
They laughed.
This mature 18+ layer mattered not for shock but to show bodies carried lives.
Clara had loved others.
Conrad had loved Vivienne.
Their reunion could not erase.
They needed incorporate, not compete.
Simon later met Conrad privately at Rose’s school event.
Conrad said:
“Thank you.”
Simon frowned.
“For what?”
“Being there.”
Simon looked.
“That is not what I expected.”
“Me neither.”
Simon smiled.
“Don’t screw it up.”
Conrad:
“That I expected.”
They shook.
No macho fight.
But tension real.
Clara watched from distance and nearly cried.
May you like
Men she loved in different lives not destroying each other.
That felt adult.
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