Chapter 7 - Hazel Thought Secrets Were Part of LoveThe next morning, Hazel refused pancakes.
Jonathan noticed first.
She sat at the kitchen island poking cereal with a spoon.
Evelyn stood near the coffee machine.
Neither parent had slept more than two hours.
"Princess pancakes?" Jonathan asked.
Hazel shook her head.
"No."
"Chocolate chips?"
"No."
Jonathan sat beside her.
"Okay."
Hazel stared into the bowl.
"Is Aunt Scarlett mad at me?"
Evelyn's face crumpled.
"No, baby."
Hazel looked up.
"Because I opened the closet."
Jonathan leaned closer.
"You didn't do anything wrong."
"Mommy said don't."
Evelyn closed her eyes.
Hazel continued:
"And I told anyway."
Jonathan felt anger rise.
Not at Hazel.
At what adults had placed inside her small understanding of loyalty.
He took her hand.
"Listen to me."
Hazel looked at him.
"Sometimes grown-ups ask children to keep fun secrets."
"Like birthday presents?"
"Exactly."
"Or Christmas?"
"Yes."
He glanced at Evelyn.
"But grown-ups should not ask children to keep secrets that make them worried or confused."
Hazel looked toward her mother.
"Mommy did."
Evelyn sat across from her.
"I did."
Hazel's lower lip trembled.
"Why?"
Evelyn started crying.
Jonathan didn't rescue her from answering.
Because this part belonged to Evelyn.
"I made a bad choice."
Hazel stared.
"With Aunt Scarlett?"
"Yes."
"Is she bad?"
Evelyn shook her head.
"No."
Jonathan looked at her.
Evelyn corrected herself carefully.
"She made bad choices too."
Hazel absorbed that.
"Are you and Daddy mad?"
"Yes," Jonathan said.
Hazel's eyes filled.
"Are you getting divorced?"
The question seemed too large for her voice.
Jonathan and Evelyn looked at each other.
Neither wanted to lie.
Neither knew the truth yet.
"We don't know," Jonathan said.
Hazel immediately began crying.
"No."
Evelyn reached across the counter.
Hazel pulled back.
The movement devastated her.
"Sweetheart—"
"You said Daddy knew."
Jonathan froze.
Evelyn went pale.
Hazel continued through tears.
"You said Daddy knew you loved Aunt Scarlett."
Jonathan slowly turned toward his wife.
Evelyn covered her mouth.
"When did she tell you that?" he asked Hazel.
"At the blue house."
Jonathan looked at Evelyn.
Hazel continued.
"Mommy said grown-ups can love different people and Daddy understood."
Evelyn whispered:
"I didn't know what else to tell her."
Jonathan stared.
"So you made me part of the lie."
"I was trying to make it less scary."
"For her or for you?"
Evelyn couldn't answer.
Hazel looked confused.
"Daddy didn't know?"
Jonathan's heart broke.
"No."
The little girl's face collapsed.
"Mommy lied?"
Evelyn started sobbing.
"Yes."
Hazel pushed away from the counter.
"I don't like secrets."
She ran upstairs.
Evelyn started after her.
Jonathan caught her arm.
"Give her a second."
"She's crying."
"I know."
"This is my fault."
"Yes."
The direct answer made Evelyn stop.
Jonathan released her.
"But don't rush upstairs because you need her to forgive you."
Evelyn stared.
"Go because she needs you."
That landed.
Evelyn wiped her face and went upstairs.
Jonathan remained in the kitchen.
Ten minutes later, his phone rang.
Hazel's school.
He almost ignored it.
Then answered.
"Jonathan Harper?"
"Yes."
"This is Ms. Brennan, Hazel's counselor."
Jonathan frowned.
"Is Hazel okay?"
"She is, but I wanted to follow up on something from last week."
His pulse changed.
"What?"
"Hazel drew a family picture during class."
Jonathan looked toward the staircase.
The blue-house drawing.
"Was it a blue house?"
A pause.
"Yes."
His stomach sank.
"She showed me one yesterday."
Ms. Brennan's voice softened.
"Hazel also wrote something."
"What?"
"I normally wouldn't discuss a classroom exercise in this way, but she seemed anxious."
Jonathan stood.
"What did she write?"
The counselor hesitated.
"When we asked students what makes a family feel safe, Hazel wrote, 'When everybody knows the same secret.'"
Jonathan closed his eyes.
Jesus.
Ms. Brennan continued.
"She also asked me whether a daddy stops being your daddy if your mommy loves someone else."
Jonathan gripped the counter.
"When?"
"Monday."
Days before the closet.
Hazel had already been processing the future Evelyn and Scarlett were constructing.
"Did she say anything else?"
"She said Aunt Scarlett might live with them someday."
Jonathan's jaw tightened.
"Thank you for calling."
"Mr. Harper, children often blame themselves for adult conflict."
"I know."
"I'd recommend you and Evelyn reassure her together."
"We will."
He ended the call.
Evelyn came downstairs.
"Hazel wants you."
Jonathan looked at her.
"Her counselor called."
Evelyn stopped.
He told her.
Every word.
By the end, Evelyn was sitting on the bottom stair crying silently.
"I did that."
Jonathan didn't soften it.
"Yes."
"I thought I was preparing her."
"You were asking her to adapt to a decision I didn't even know existed."
"I know."
Jonathan stared toward Hazel's room.
"This stops now."
Evelyn nodded.
"No more secret houses."
"Yes."
"No more telling her what our future is before we know."
"Yes."
"No Scarlett."
Evelyn's face changed.
Jonathan saw it.
There was still attachment.
Still love.
Still conflict.
He hated that, but he understood it was real.
"I don't mean forever," he said.
Evelyn looked up.
"I mean Hazel doesn't become the place where you and Scarlett continue your relationship."
Evelyn nodded slowly.
"Okay."
Jonathan started upstairs.
Then Evelyn said:
"Jonathan."
He turned.
"I need to tell you something before Hazel does."
His stomach tightened.
"What?"
Evelyn looked ashamed.
"Scarlett isn't just in the blue-house drawing."
"What does that mean?"
"She was at Hazel's school once."
Jonathan froze.
"When?"
"Two months ago."
"Why?"
Evelyn swallowed.
"She picked Hazel up."
Jonathan stared.
Scarlett wasn't authorized to pick Hazel up.
At least—
May you like
he didn't think she was.
And suddenly another boundary had been crossed without his knowledge.
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