Chapter 15 - THE NIGHT VALERIE FINALLY TOLD THE TRUTHValerie and Mabel had dinner alone almost a year after firing.
No husbands.
No Jasper.
No therapist.
Valerie requested.
Mabel accepted in public restaurant.
At first awkward.
Then Valerie said:
“I need tell you what I was really angry about.”
Mabel waited.
“Not nightmare.”
“Not school photo.”
“Not even boundaries.”
She looked at table.
“When Jasper was five months and you could calm him… I hated you.”
Mabel’s face softened slightly.
“I knew.”
Valerie looked up.
“What?”
“You were not subtle.”
Valerie laughed unexpectedly.
Mabel smiled.
“You once asked Cecily to schedule me downstairs because seeing me hold him made stomach hurt.”
Valerie remembered.
“I forgot.”
“I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You were sick.”
“I was also cruel sometimes.”
“Yes.”
Mabel did not erase.
Valerie appreciated.
“I got better.”
“But I never forgave myself.”
“So every time Jasper ran to you, I was back there.”
“Feeling broken.”
Mabel said:
“You were not broken.”
Careful system says avoid phrase unless context demands. Here maybe okay, explicit context. But system says avoid unless context demands. It does. Yet maybe better: "You were ill and overwhelmed." Let's use.
“You were ill and overwhelmed.”
“You recovered.”
Valerie’s eyes filled.
“I wanted him to prove I was mother by choosing me.”
“That is ugly.”
“It is human.”
“Also something you can change.”
Valerie nodded.
“I fired you because I thought if you disappeared, the evidence disappeared.”
Mabel took breath.
“That hurt Jasper.”
“Yes.”
“And me.”
“Yes.”
“And you.”
Valerie looked.
“Yes.”
Silence.
Then Mabel shared truth:
“I resented you too.”
Valerie surprised.
“For?”
“You got to walk upstairs after parties and sleep.”
“I stayed.”
“You traveled.”
“I missed sister.”
“You thanked with bonus instead of asking.”
Valerie swallowed.
“I thought money solved.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
Mabel continued:
“I also liked being needed.”
“Sometimes I said yes because Jasper wanted.”
“Not because job.”
“That blurred.”
“I should have protected my hours.”
Valerie shook head.
“Power was ours.”
“Mostly.”
“But I had agency too.”
Nuance.
They were not equal blame.
But both human.
Dinner ended without hug.
Valerie asked:
“Can we be friends?”
Mabel smiled.
“Not yet.”
Valerie almost laughed.
“Fair.”
“What are we?”
May you like
“Two women who love same child differently.”
That was enough.
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