Chapter 21 - WHAT “PAID TO RAISE HIM” REALLY MEANTAt ten, Jasper revisited phrase.
Children store painful sentences.
He asked during family therapy closing session.
“Mom, when you said Mabel was paid to raise me, was that true?”
Valerie answered differently than years before.
“She was paid to care for you as part of her job.”
“She also loved you.”
“We did not pay for that.”
“Did she raise me?”
Valerie looked at Elliot.
Then Jasper.
“Yes, partly.”
“So did Dad.”
“So did I.”
“So did Grandma Cecily.”
“Many people help raise child.”
Jasper smiled.
“Then why were you mad?”
“I thought if she mattered a lot, it meant I mattered less.”
“Did it?”
“No.”
He nodded.
“Good.”
Mabel was not present.
This answer did not need her validation.
Valerie owned.
Jasper asked:
“Were you jealous?”
“Yes.”
“Of Mabel?”
“Yes.”
“That’s weird.”
Valerie laughed.
“It was.”
“Are you now?”
“Sometimes little.”
“But I know what feeling is, so I don’t make decisions because of it.”
That was emotional literacy.
Elliot said:
“I was jealous too.”
Valerie stared.
“What?”
“Jasper ran to Mabel at airport once.”
“You never said.”
“I’m better at repression.”
Jasper laughed.
Parents human.
No saint.
Session ended.
Dr. Hart said:
“You don’t need regular therapy unless need.”
Jasper:
“Good.”
Everyone laughed.
He had survived rupture.
May you like
Not unchanged.
But safer.
